"Life is what's happening while we're busy making other plans."
John Lennon

Everyone wants to connect with somebody. Volunteers, just like paid employees desire a feeling of belonging to the culture of the organization. It is the volunteer coordinators job to insure that this connection occurs. But, how do you encourage this connection between volunteers? Sometimes it requires you to just pause for a moment and walk around your volunteer place. As managers we get caught up in the hectic atmosphere of budgets, client problems, and tasks that scream for attention. We need to step back and catch our breath, and savor the moment. Richard Carlson, in his classic best seller, don't Sweat The Small stuff, calls it "learning to live in the present moment." He says, "This quality of being in the moment has far more to do with what's going on in your mind than on what's going on in the office."2 The key is to be with the volunteer when you are with the volunteer. Nothing disturbs people more than the person talking to them who is not really there. We have all talked to people at a party who are much more interested in the new arrivals or where the boss is than talking to you. As Carlson says "It's the small things" and this is one of them that really breaks the connection.

Jim Harris in a book titled The Employee Connection gives us a couple of hints about connecting with our people, both staff and volunteers. He suggests that we challenge ourselves to connect in the moment with a different person every day. And to challenge our staff to connect in the moment with their colleagues. He also suggests that we open a conversation with a simple statement of how you feel at that moment.3 You might say that you feel excited or tense about something. Offer one or two reasons why, and then ask if anyone else feels the same. You are encouraging everyone to be bold enough to share in the moment. By putting yourself out there first and sharing your feelings, usually helps to open up the other person's feelings. Sometimes it pays to lead with a personal weakness, because am only 5'6; I will sometimes tease about the fact that I can't seem to reach the top shelf where the supplies are kept. This self-depreciating humor will help to break the ice and start conversation flowing.

All of us have a need to feel important at times, or at least to think that what we are doing has importance. How do we help to give this feeling to our volunteers? Maybe we could start conversations with more "you" than "I'". It is a natural tendency to talk about what we are up to in our lives and to not spend much time asking about their lives. When we are asked for our opinion, it gives a feeling that the other person cares about our thoughts. Alice Potter in her book, Putting the Positive Thinker to Work, says it well, "…if you give others what they want, they will give you what you want."4 What you are looking for in your conversation with the volunteer is simply a chance to get to know your volunteers better. Sometimes this can be achieved by trying to see things from other people's view. I know that this requires asking questions, and then listening to their answers. This has been difficult for me, as I always seem to want to get right back into the conversation with my opinion. Henry Ford, always a wise man, may have said it best when he stated " If there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from his angle as well as from your own." It has been difficult for me to avoid interrupting the person that I am having a conversation with. It seems that they are taking so long to conclude their thoughts and I could help by just breaking in now! All of us resent the person who doesn't really listen and we really get upset by the person who doesn't let us finish. Richard Carlson says "I also realized how destructive this habit was, not only to the respect and love I received from others but also for the tremendous amount of energy it takes to try to be in two heads at once!"